That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
