Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
