college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
