My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
