I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
