Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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