Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I had to cum in my sink.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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