His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
