then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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