sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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