So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
