Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
