he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
