I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
