So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
