Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
