you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
