He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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