He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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