Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
