you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
