So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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