And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
