she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
