New low: just hacked my moms facebook
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
