not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't put those talents on a resume
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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