Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
