Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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