your parents love me but you hate me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
