OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
