You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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