I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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