I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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