Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
