I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
