I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
