first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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