The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
