I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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