sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i dont even know how to be here
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
