Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
