Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
