i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
