Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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