Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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