found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
