no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
