This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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