i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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