Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
