I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
