U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
