I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
