Who did Billy Mays play for?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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