my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
