HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i out mim tonsoeep
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