Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
