I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's Friday. Sex?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
